Archives for October 2016

We all have them.

Some we wear on a daily basis and others we wear from time to time when needed.

Like the song The Stranger, by Billy Joel says: “Some are satin, some are steel, some are silk and some are leather.

I’ve worn them all, I think most of us have.

I wear the satin mask when I need a little shimmer to deflect the attention away from me in a soft way and to change the subject to one I can handle at the moment.

The steel one comes in when I am just so detached and distant and also fragile as to not let anyone in, I’m not going to budge and I don’t want to be bothered in any way, shape or form. This one is more or less my “Do Not Disturb” warning.

The silk one comes in when, in conversation, I need to be smooth or decide to ‘go with the flow’ of the topic whether I’m in the mood for it or not.

As for the leather one, well, when I need to be strong or tough, this one comes in handy.

I’ve even added a few to the mix over the years, such as:

The Brave Mask: Or as I call it ‘My Brave Face’ when I need to handle something that seems so much bigger than me and I need to muster up some or all of my courage just to get through it.

The Court Jester Mask: When things seem too tense I will use this masks for a few laughs and to soften things a bit. Or when I just want to chill out and have a few laughs!

My Sad Mask:  When I’m alone and dealing with something that really upsets me I need to let out all the emotions and kind of hit the reset button. If the emotions stay bottled up it’s usually not a good thing.

Masks aren’t necessarily wrong or bad. They often help you get through some otherwise uncomfortable, scary or embarrassing situations.

Do you have a favorite?

Which ones haven’t you worn….yet?

Did you try any on for size that weren’t what you expected?

Which one did you vow never to wear again?

What kind of masks are in your arsenal?

The question I have for you today is: “Why do you wear them?”  “Is there something you’re hiding?” “Are YOU hiding?”  From who? From what?

There seems to be no sweeter words to hear than someone saying “I LOVE YOU”

Children say it, parents say it, friends say it, lovers say it, even dogs say it. (Have you seen the videos?)

No matter who delivers the message it is usually heartfelt and cherished.

For some the words roll off their tongue very easily, for others it comes with much effort. I think it’s because people feel so vulnerable and fear rejection. What do you think?

We have our favorite people who we tell that we love them, and we like to hear it back from them as well.  When one person says it more than another it seems unbalanced and can have us feeling insecure. Unfortunately some people seem to ‘keep score’ and this can make things tense.

Some people use these words to manipulate others and get what they want and that, to me, seems like a selfish act.

Others use it so flippantly that it hardly seems sincere.

Some of us need to hear, see or feel it so desperately and we rarely do, which is sad.

Sometimes life circumstances has us grieving the loss of a loved one whom we can no longer share our love with. Other times, since we never got over our fears, there are people who were never able to hear those words from us.

Regret is a terrible thing.

Most people have ‘ways’ of expressing love rather than ‘saying’ it out loud. This is great and does count for something, however in order to be fully received your form of expression needs to line up with the way they best ‘receive’ things.

You need to know the person who you communicate with. There are many styles and sometimes words and deeds don’t match up.

For instance:

Visual people like to ‘see’ how you love them….cards, flowers…tangible things.

Auditory people like to ‘hear’ you say the actual words…often many times.

Kinesthetic people like to ‘feel’ so they prefer hugs and cuddles.

If YOU are kinesthetic and your partner is auditory, you can give them a dozen hugs a day but they STILL need to HEAR it so it can be fully received.

If you’re visual and your partner is auditory, they can tell you 20 times a day that they love you but unless you get a card or some flowers you may feel slighted.

 Do you know what your preference is?   How about others in your life?  How do you best connect with them?

 

Of course we are all a combination of all of these at different times and tuning into our preferences and those of important people in our lives can be a tricky thing.

No matter who you are or how you like these 3 words expressed I think it is safe to say that the world needs more love and saying I love you can make someone’s day!

Think about how wonderful it makes YOU feel!!!

Who can you talk to TODAY to say “I LOVE YOU” that would really love to hear from you?

Tiara Time

We all need a little time out.

The trouble is we sometimes forget to reward ourselves with some precious alone time.

Tiara Time is about sharing how and when you take some time out-just for you- to do whatever you want…or absolutely nothing…whatever that is.

As women we know what it’s like to be busy and to take care of so many others.

So when do we get time for ourselves?  Usually it isn’t very often.

Well, ladies, times are a-changin.’

Now, more than ever it’s imperative- sometimes for our very survival – that we find some time to carve out during the day or week to reset ourselves, energize ourselves…or just plain REST!

It can be a short break or as long as you like (or can possibly fit in to your busy day).

If you have a Tiara…real or imaginary…wear it proudly and have it serve as a “Do Not Disturb’ symbol.

Whether its 5 minutes or 5 hours, if you had the time – just for yourself – what would you do…or NOT do?

Do tell.

MOJO

Do you feel your mojo changing? Shifting?

For some women their sex appeal and appetite increase, for others it decreases.

What’s it like for you?

Do you have a healthy relationship with yourself? Meaning…do you really know yourself?

Head to toe, inside and out, every nook and cranny?

At this stage of your life do you know what you like, how you like it and when?

Have you tuned into all the little nuances that turn you on- or off for that matter?

Are you able to speak up and communicate effectively with your partner (or know how to handle yourself if that’s where you are right now) as to the tempo and rhythm that floats your boat…so to speak.

Getting in tune with your body is not always easy but it is necessary. Are you able to please yourself (that’s an M word for another post) or do you rely on someone else to get you to the finish line?

A big concern seems to be vaginal dryness.

Many women enlist the aid of a lubricant to ease the dryness and/or discomfort they might feel during sex.

Do you prefer a prescription lubricant, an over the counter one or good old fashion coconut oil? (warning coconut oil is FANTASTIC and a little goes a long way, however, if you’re using a condom it renders it ineffective  – so be forewarned).

Your mojo isn’t just about sex. Your sex appeal and how you feel about yourself is paramount.

Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror? Does it make you smile?

If not, are you actively working on ‘improvements’ or are you too busy beating yourself up for not being/ looking as good as you could?

Let’s face it, we could all improve something. What is it that you would like to ‘enhance’ or ‘improve?’

If you had a list of just 3 things that would make you more comfortable in your skin if it were ‘better’ in some way….what would they be?  Would you be daring enough to share what they are?

I’ll show you mine if you show me yours 😉    (my list, that is)

The M Word

The M word is a Medley of “M” word topics for Midlife Mavens dealing with the Magic, Mystery and Mayhem during the whole Menopause journey.

Hello and welcome!

The words chosen here are conversation starters. See how they resonate with you and comment on what they ‘bring up’ or ‘touch on’ for you. This is a no-judgement zone.

If you’d like to suggest words for future posts, please do.

Have a Marvelous day!